THE LOW-DOWN ON THE TOWN Impudent, uncensored account By C. Castle

Dirty Charges

"Hadn't we heard this somewhere before?" we asked ourselves as we perused the latest issue of "The Dirt" (#10), which came in a variety of colors (we got the pink edition).

There in paragraph two was the familiar-sounding statement: "For twenty of the last twenty-two years, Santa Monicans for Renters Rights has ruled the City."

It turns out we had seen the same allegation once before passed off as fact -- in a brochure put out by City Council hopefuls David Cole and Donna Block. "The truth is that SMRR has controlled our city government for 20 of the last 22 years," the candidates wrote.

It's true that SMRR's well-oiled political organization has held a grip on City Government since the powerful tenants group won all four open seats in the 1981 election. But SMRR did not gain power 22 years ago, much less controlled the council for 20 of those years.

Fact: After gaining control in 1981 (two years after spearheading the passage of rent control), SMRR lost its majority between 1984 and 1988, when most of the major developments in the City were approved. SMRR again lost its grip on City Hall in 1996, when Councilman Paul Rosenstein bucked the organization and won as an independent. SMRR did not regain control until 1998.

So, in fact, SMRR has controlled the council for 13 of the past 19 years. Which leads us to the following speculations:

a.) The anonymous authors of "The Dirt" read Cole and Block's brochure and repeated the error.

b.) The author's of "The Dirt," as well as Cole and Block, got the misinformation from the same source.

c.) "The Dirt's" mysterious authors are Cole and Block. (A contention belied by a careful textual analysis: "The Dirt" spells out the years, while Cole and Block use numerals, and "The Dirt" spells out Santa Monicans for Renters' Rights [albeit without the appropriate apostrophe], while Cole and Block use the acronym. Of course this could be a crafty way to deflect any suspicious connections.)

d.) It was a coincidence.

Signs of Election Time

Look around and there are signs everywhere that Election Day is upon us. But in some cases there are no signs, an indication that the races are heating up.

First, it was School Board candidate Gleam Davis who reported that one of her lawn signs had not only been uprooted, it had been shredded and tossed on a supporter's doorstep.

"I can't believe people get so excited over local elections," Davis said.

Now, the latest victim of lawn sign bandits is College Board candidate Joe Weichman. A Santa Monica College political science student, Weichman got a dose of real life politics when he planted two lawn signs in front of a supporter's home at the corner of Pearl and 20th and when he checked back, voila!, they were gone. He planted two more signs at the same location, and, again, they mysteriously disappeared in less than 24 hours without a trace.

"I put up four now," said a defiant Weichman. "I'm sure that they're going to take them down. Then I'm going to put up five."

Weichman said he isn't worried. He has 500 signs. "I've put up 200," he said.

Sunset Park, the candidate said, is the toughest area for signs. So he's headed up to the more genteel environs north of Montana.

"The NOMA area is safe," Weichman said. "No one pulls up the lawn signs."

Weichman has winnowed down his list of suspects. He's pretty much eliminated his fellow students, since they aren't likely to show up at school with them and there are no signs that the signs have been discarded.

"The signs don't fit in their back packs and the garbage cans (in the area) aren't big enough," Weichman said. He added that he has scoured the neighborhood and spotted none of the uprooted signs.

Weichman is determined to nab the culprit. Over the weekend, he planned to park his car on the street -- when preferential parking is not in effect -- and perhaps leave a video camera running pointed at the sign on the targeted lawn.

"I can play the game pretty well," Weichman said. "And I have all the time in the world."

Sounds like you should be on the City Council, Joe.

The phone just rang. It's Joe. Another sign has been stolen. 12th and Pico.

Calling the Kettle Black

The timing seemed uncanny. In less than 48 hours union supporters would hold a press conference to denounce the handful of hotel owners who had pumped an unprecedented $880,000 into the Prop KK campaign.

How could the wealthy hotel owners spend all that money to fight paying their workers a decent wage? the union supporters had been asking. How could they live high off the hog knowing their employees and their families were squeezed into small apartments in seedy parts of Los Angeles and often relying on the government to make ends meet?

So here we were, settling in after a hard day's night when a late, late night broadcast caught our attention. It was a rerun and update of  last December's expose of Hotel Employees & Restaurant Employees Int'l Union ex-president Edward T. Hanley. As we watched, awestruck, we couldn't help but wonder if any the union supporters preparing self-righteous speeches had ever seen the broadcast or heard of Hanley.

Hanley, Dateline reported, had ripped off union dues for years, using the money to buy $1,000 meals, keep an actor friend on a $25,000 a year retainer, invest in an Irish sports team, purchase a condo he used one week out of the year and buy a Palm Springs home.

When he was finally forced out after a quarter century, Hanley was spared criminal prosecution for wrongdoing due to an immunity deal with the Justice Department. Hanley, who retired last July, continued to live the high life on the backs of 270,000 honest, hardworking dishwashers, busboys, bellhops and maids.

Hanley's contract, approved by his handpicked board of directors, guaranteed the former union boss $310,000 a year for life. When the union boss died in a car crash, a clause in the contract called for his widow to collect most of the $310,000 a year for the rest of her days.